Post by Sir Kiken on Jul 12, 2009 19:58:34 GMT -5
As he sat in his large throne adorned with red velvet seat and fine redwood, Evilman-the self proclaimed Most Evil Villain of All Time Ever to Exist Within the Mortal Realm-stared out at his sea of about 22 minions since it was near Thanksgiving and many had decided to cash in on vacation time. The minions here instead of feasting on turkey settled on feasting on Arby's melts purchsed on the pick five. Evilman's black and purple armor covered his every inch, shining without a scratch in the light that came in through the twelve foot window to his right. His eyes were red behind the opening in the helmet. Not glowing, more like sitting there painted onto a black backdrop behind his visor. Evilman stood with his dark cape billowing out behind him raising a trembling clenched fist before a cry thundered forth from his hidden mouth,
"MINIONS!!!" he shouted. The previous silence persisted for a moment before minion 8 answered,
"Uh, yeah?" he asked. Evilman made his way down the stairs from his throne that sat in a large room. It was approximately the size of a medium apartment building the room was. It was the throne room. Six massive windows parallel to one another made their way to the giant chair in Evilman's castle. It was a rather impressive castle actually. It had tall stone walls with a greath gothic medieval feel to it. There were 26 bedrooms and one bathroom. All in all it was a cozy hovel for his minions. Evilman strolled amoung his minions for a moment letting them sweat. His anger seethed even through his sixteen million dollar armor. It reflected missiles and such. That armor and the castle had been products of the huge inheritance he'd gotten from his grampa, "I'm sure one of you knows why I've brought you all here." he said staring out at his lackeys once he'd made his way around them. Silence, "I know damn well you know. One of you. One of you did it and you're too cowardly to face me and say you did," Evilman accused. Minion 12 spoke up,
"Um, sir could you please explain?" he asked chewing ans swallowing. Evilman whipped around pointing directly at Minion 46,
"Where the F*CK is my Chicken Bacon Swiss?! I specifically told YOU since you were getting orders for everybody that I wanted a Crispy Chicken Bacon and Swiss sandwich with no pickles or lettuce. Damn lettuce, it looks like cabbage. I said make it a combo with mozerella sticks instead of fries and a pepsi. I don't see Chicken, Bacon, or Swiss cheese here at all!" Evilman shouted. Minion 46 swallowed a large bite of sandwich and curly fries,
"Uh, I think I accidentaly gave your sandwich away to 11. But, we still have a melt with no cheese and potato cakes left that nobody wanted so you're welcome to that boss," he answered. Evilman gawked at him in disbelief before regaining his poise and posture,
"I see, then you leave me no choice..."
"Hey boss I have swiss cheese on this sandwich here," said minion 8,
"F*ck you and your arby's melt! Where's the poultry and the bacon? Shut up, burn him!" Evilman said pointing to 46 who had just torn away another juicy bite of toasted sesame bun and roast beef. Four men wearing gas masks and black leather armor dropped from the ceiling suddenly. Each had a flamethrower. They were already in a circle around 46. Flames engulfed the spot where he'd stood for a steady six seconds before the flame minions leapt back into the ceiling leaving a smoldering pile of ashes that smelled of barbeque and burnt toast,
"Good now that that's done, STEVE!!!" Evilman shouted into the ear of a man wearing a black tank top and torn up blue jeans. He had messy dark brown hair and crazed looking brown eyes. There was a bit of chin scruff on his face,
"Yeah what's up boss?" Steve asked scratching at his chin and then taking the last bite of a sandwich that smelled suspiciously of pan fried pork and deep fried chicken. Evilman paused for a moment wondering before continuing,
"You, my right hand man, will take Pete and journey to get me some food,"
"Man, if you want a CBS I can go get that in like two-"
"No, f*ck Arby's I'm eating fresh,"
"What? Subway, that's all the way-"
"Yes, you will journey through the mountains of Hell's Rape and then traverse the sea of FuckMeRunnin and it's deadly river. The ancient bridge of Rippin Anewhole is treacherous because of the old Griffon, Eat. He's a nasty one. I'd like an Italian BMT with everyting but lettuce on white."
"MINIONS!!!" he shouted. The previous silence persisted for a moment before minion 8 answered,
"Uh, yeah?" he asked. Evilman made his way down the stairs from his throne that sat in a large room. It was approximately the size of a medium apartment building the room was. It was the throne room. Six massive windows parallel to one another made their way to the giant chair in Evilman's castle. It was a rather impressive castle actually. It had tall stone walls with a greath gothic medieval feel to it. There were 26 bedrooms and one bathroom. All in all it was a cozy hovel for his minions. Evilman strolled amoung his minions for a moment letting them sweat. His anger seethed even through his sixteen million dollar armor. It reflected missiles and such. That armor and the castle had been products of the huge inheritance he'd gotten from his grampa, "I'm sure one of you knows why I've brought you all here." he said staring out at his lackeys once he'd made his way around them. Silence, "I know damn well you know. One of you. One of you did it and you're too cowardly to face me and say you did," Evilman accused. Minion 12 spoke up,
"Um, sir could you please explain?" he asked chewing ans swallowing. Evilman whipped around pointing directly at Minion 46,
"Where the F*CK is my Chicken Bacon Swiss?! I specifically told YOU since you were getting orders for everybody that I wanted a Crispy Chicken Bacon and Swiss sandwich with no pickles or lettuce. Damn lettuce, it looks like cabbage. I said make it a combo with mozerella sticks instead of fries and a pepsi. I don't see Chicken, Bacon, or Swiss cheese here at all!" Evilman shouted. Minion 46 swallowed a large bite of sandwich and curly fries,
"Uh, I think I accidentaly gave your sandwich away to 11. But, we still have a melt with no cheese and potato cakes left that nobody wanted so you're welcome to that boss," he answered. Evilman gawked at him in disbelief before regaining his poise and posture,
"I see, then you leave me no choice..."
"Hey boss I have swiss cheese on this sandwich here," said minion 8,
"F*ck you and your arby's melt! Where's the poultry and the bacon? Shut up, burn him!" Evilman said pointing to 46 who had just torn away another juicy bite of toasted sesame bun and roast beef. Four men wearing gas masks and black leather armor dropped from the ceiling suddenly. Each had a flamethrower. They were already in a circle around 46. Flames engulfed the spot where he'd stood for a steady six seconds before the flame minions leapt back into the ceiling leaving a smoldering pile of ashes that smelled of barbeque and burnt toast,
"Good now that that's done, STEVE!!!" Evilman shouted into the ear of a man wearing a black tank top and torn up blue jeans. He had messy dark brown hair and crazed looking brown eyes. There was a bit of chin scruff on his face,
"Yeah what's up boss?" Steve asked scratching at his chin and then taking the last bite of a sandwich that smelled suspiciously of pan fried pork and deep fried chicken. Evilman paused for a moment wondering before continuing,
"You, my right hand man, will take Pete and journey to get me some food,"
"Man, if you want a CBS I can go get that in like two-"
"No, f*ck Arby's I'm eating fresh,"
"What? Subway, that's all the way-"
"Yes, you will journey through the mountains of Hell's Rape and then traverse the sea of FuckMeRunnin and it's deadly river. The ancient bridge of Rippin Anewhole is treacherous because of the old Griffon, Eat. He's a nasty one. I'd like an Italian BMT with everyting but lettuce on white."